So I've been making a lot of thinking lately, I questioned myself "why?" over and over again and I prayed a thousand prayers probably like million gazillion and I just realized that I'm tired of being sad, I'm tired of this bullshit negative thoughts that runs in my head every now and then, I'm tired of people manipulating my life, I'm tired of keeping silent inside, I'm just tired of not being happy.
I realized that I deserve to be happy and not sad, I deserve to be respected as a human being, as a person in this fucking universe, I deserve to do and be what and who I am no matter the circumstances because by doing that it makes me the person who I really am inside and the kind of person that I wanted to be, I don't want much though I am a simple person who wants a simple peaceful life, is that so hard? answer is NO only if I'll keep on thinking only the positive things in life, the good things and not the bad.
So What I learned? I learned that I just need to try to be as happy as I can be and not to think too much negative evil stuff, I try to do what makes me happy and give love as much as I can, of course love is limited though :P it's exclusively for chosen people [ like my husband, son, parents, siblings, chosen friends and relatives] I try to keep myself busy on doing something not to tire myself but just to accomplish something good or nice for that day. I try to love myself again because I learned that if I can't love myself then it won't be easy to give love to others, and I learned that prayer will always help you no matter what.
I used to pray before I sleep way back like everynight its like a routine but I stopped praying sometime ago because I was foolish and became lazy to even say thank you God, but now I learned that God is powerful, He loves you no matter what but sometimes He needs to teach you some lesson in order for you to realized that "Hey! What am I doing? I need God in my life" yeap reality check :] so yeah I think God hit my head on the wall for me to realized that I was not doing the right thing, funny but true.
So whats going on with me now? Here I am learning to love myself again, learning to be happy again and I realized that life is wonderful you just gotta open your eyes and like really see it, I'm not saying that life will always be easy but hey that's what makes life wonderful because along the way trials that thrown in our life no matter how small or big it is it's what makes us the person that we want to be, it makes us realize that "Hey! I want to be this and not this!" you know what I mean? :P
So I guess little by little I'm getting cured, not exactly totally cured but I'm getting there and I'm glad!
I realized that I deserve to be happy and not sad, I deserve to be respected as a human being, as a person in this fucking universe, I deserve to do and be what and who I am no matter the circumstances because by doing that it makes me the person who I really am inside and the kind of person that I wanted to be, I don't want much though I am a simple person who wants a simple peaceful life, is that so hard? answer is NO only if I'll keep on thinking only the positive things in life, the good things and not the bad.
So What I learned? I learned that I just need to try to be as happy as I can be and not to think too much negative evil stuff, I try to do what makes me happy and give love as much as I can, of course love is limited though :P it's exclusively for chosen people [ like my husband, son, parents, siblings, chosen friends and relatives] I try to keep myself busy on doing something not to tire myself but just to accomplish something good or nice for that day. I try to love myself again because I learned that if I can't love myself then it won't be easy to give love to others, and I learned that prayer will always help you no matter what.
I used to pray before I sleep way back like everynight its like a routine but I stopped praying sometime ago because I was foolish and became lazy to even say thank you God, but now I learned that God is powerful, He loves you no matter what but sometimes He needs to teach you some lesson in order for you to realized that "Hey! What am I doing? I need God in my life" yeap reality check :] so yeah I think God hit my head on the wall for me to realized that I was not doing the right thing, funny but true.
So whats going on with me now? Here I am learning to love myself again, learning to be happy again and I realized that life is wonderful you just gotta open your eyes and like really see it, I'm not saying that life will always be easy but hey that's what makes life wonderful because along the way trials that thrown in our life no matter how small or big it is it's what makes us the person that we want to be, it makes us realize that "Hey! I want to be this and not this!" you know what I mean? :P
So I guess little by little I'm getting cured, not exactly totally cured but I'm getting there and I'm glad!
4 comments:
i agree with everything you said. it should really start within ourselves. the change. to be happy. to have a positive outlook in life. sadness is just self-inflicted. i'm happy for you, sis. tc always. muah!
yeap i realized TAMA NA PALITAN NA the attitude I had lately lol
Haaay trials keep on throwing on my way lately grrrr kick them assie lol
yeah. kick their assie. only if you can find its assie. o_O Lmao!
I'm happy for ya!! I miss the old you, but I still love you no matter what!
Time to be happy, huh? Life is too short. People take it for granted. I choose to thank God for everything, even through the bad times.
Time to turn the negatives into the positives. That's what I've been doing lately, too.
Remember: KEEP THE FAITH! <----
I will keep implanting that in your ears and head, till it brings you back to your fav motto, lol.
Mahal kita, Hawk. :)
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